the tao of cycling: periods of adjustment

Thursday, September 3, 2009

periods of adjustment

it's that time again, that time of adjusting.
adjusting schedules and routines and ways of being.
a time of acclimation to a new pattern.
which always throws me a little out of kilter.
I walk around the house feeling out of sorts, but can't really place my mental finger on any single reason.
I jump from project to project, leaving things half-done and returning to them only after I've completed 3 other things.
I ask the same questions over and over, and don't listen to the answer.
I don't want to talk on the phone.
my body is alternately jumpy and exhausted.
I feel unsettled and slightly askew, and that peaceful, calm feelings eludes me no matter what I do.

yes, it's the week before lotoja.

I've settled into my taper, but find that I'm not settled at all. I am caught somewhere between wanting to sleep 15 hours a day and feeling the pull to jump on my bike and ride 60-70-80 miles.
I've been icing my knees (no, that does not mean putting chocolate frosting on them and decorating) and trying to be kind to my body.
I ate a banana yesterday.
I had tuna fish for lunch twice this week.
I am drinking as much water as I remember to.

and I'm working on my mental adjustment to this new season, where the intense training is past and I am at the peak of my cycling ability this year. when, once lotoja is over, I will ride where I want and enjoy the leaves and gentle cool air of fall. when the push is over, and when life enters a new phase called fall.
but for now I'm in that wiggly place, where I feel like a Frenchman dropped in the middle of Italy. we might use the same currency, and our languages may have the same roots, but all of the nuances are different.
I'll adjust, things will settle, and life will once again feel comfortable and sturdy.
but for today, I'll just embrace this wiggly place because it is exactly where I am, and to pretend I'm someplace different would be pointless.

I'll just keep my wiggles on the inside, and keep those tires steady on that smooth and far-reaching asphalt path that leads from my door to who knows where.

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.