the tao of cycling: butterflies and frogs

Friday, September 11, 2009

butterflies and frogs

at the bike shop wednesday I had a chat with my favorite bike shop boy about anxiety.
because, try as I might to keep them at bay, those silly butterflies and frogs continue to take up residence in my abdominal area before big rides.

favorite bike shop boy has been riding a bike seriously for over 25 years, and he told me he still gets anxious before big rides.
even if he's done them before and knows he can.
even if he's feeling fit and strong.
even if he knows better.

whew.

I have been polling people lately about their pre-ride anxiety. (bike shop boy is not my only subject.) and what I've found is that most people admit to experiencing some anxiety before big rides. it ranges from a little stress to bathroom-running moments, and is often wrapped up with excitement and enthusiasm, but I think it must happen to all of us.
yesterday I tried to relieve some of my jittery anxiety by having a pedicure. it made me sit still and calmly for 45 minutes, during which time I couldn't run to the pantry for cookies or wander, restless and lost, around the house. and what struck me as quite funny is that bill's sister was at the same spot, getting a pedicure, because she was waiting for news about a big deal she's been working on and she was trying to soothe her anxiety.
ha!
anyway, it makes me feel better to know that others experience the same thing I do. everyone seems to be so calm and collected, so prepared and on top of things: do we all exude this same illusion? inside, are we all jumbled up concoctions of butterflies and baby frogs?
I don't know.
but I do know that I am going to keep breathing, I'll probably tattoo faith on my knuckles again, and I'm going to keep marching forward until it's time to get on my bike and pedal the rest of the way.

oh, and I'll see you again on monday, as I am taking the weekend off!
happy cycling, gardening, walking, running, or whatever it is you do, and may your butterflies and teeny frogs be kind to you.
(I think they like cookies best, but will roll their eyes and settle for bananas because they know they're good for you.)

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.