Friday, September 11, 2009

butterflies and frogs

at the bike shop wednesday I had a chat with my favorite bike shop boy about anxiety.
because, try as I might to keep them at bay, those silly butterflies and frogs continue to take up residence in my abdominal area before big rides.

favorite bike shop boy has been riding a bike seriously for over 25 years, and he told me he still gets anxious before big rides.
even if he's done them before and knows he can.
even if he's feeling fit and strong.
even if he knows better.


I have been polling people lately about their pre-ride anxiety. (bike shop boy is not my only subject.) and what I've found is that most people admit to experiencing some anxiety before big rides. it ranges from a little stress to bathroom-running moments, and is often wrapped up with excitement and enthusiasm, but I think it must happen to all of us.
yesterday I tried to relieve some of my jittery anxiety by having a pedicure. it made me sit still and calmly for 45 minutes, during which time I couldn't run to the pantry for cookies or wander, restless and lost, around the house. and what struck me as quite funny is that bill's sister was at the same spot, getting a pedicure, because she was waiting for news about a big deal she's been working on and she was trying to soothe her anxiety.
anyway, it makes me feel better to know that others experience the same thing I do. everyone seems to be so calm and collected, so prepared and on top of things: do we all exude this same illusion? inside, are we all jumbled up concoctions of butterflies and baby frogs?
I don't know.
but I do know that I am going to keep breathing, I'll probably tattoo faith on my knuckles again, and I'm going to keep marching forward until it's time to get on my bike and pedal the rest of the way.

oh, and I'll see you again on monday, as I am taking the weekend off!
happy cycling, gardening, walking, running, or whatever it is you do, and may your butterflies and teeny frogs be kind to you.
(I think they like cookies best, but will roll their eyes and settle for bananas because they know they're good for you.)

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