the tao of cycling: the 618 award

Monday, September 14, 2009

the 618 award

I am awarding myself another honor.
don't you just love how I do this for myself? I figure someone has to do it, and who else is going to do it for me? I know me best; I'll just create my own darn awards for myself.

years ago I was struggling to help my younger son be good. I can't remember all the details, but he was about 8 years old and going through one of those defiant phases. it's been drummed into my head that it's more effective to mold behavior through rewards than by punishment, so I created a program through which he could earn a trophy by being good.
there were certain things he could do to earn points (most of which centered around plain old compliance), and if he earned enough points within a certain time frame he would receive his prize.
I'm pretty sure I did every possible in setting up this program to ensure his victory, and today his gold trophy with a bee atop it (the Be-e Good Award) rests among all his other soccer, basketball, lacrosse, and piano trophies on his bedroom shelf.

rewards can help shape behavior.

thus I am giving myself one.
but I'm not exactly sure of the shape I want to move my behavior toward.
see, the award I'm giving myself is the 618 award.

the lotoja 1000 is an award given those who have completed the ride 5 times during the past 10 years. unfortunately, now that I've ridden 3 times I am 60 percent of the way toward this award . . . and who turns back at that point?
possibly me.
possibly many rational people.
but I'm not sure.
so by deciding to give myself the 618 award, I am either telling myself that 3 is enough, I deserve an award, I can quit now . . . or, I am giving myself encouragement to keep moving forward toward that larger goal.
I'm not exactly sure which way I want myself to be moving, at this point.
I do know that at 72 miles into the ride last saturday, these were the thoughts moving through my brain:
I am never doing this again.
I want to cry.
I am never going to ride my f$&*#@g bike again.

after my recovery ride this morning, I came inside and started typing away about my self-bestowed award.

and that says just about everything you need to know about me, doesn't it?

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.