inverted L's

I took my first yoga class 12 years ago, and I knew going into it that I would have a difficult time. not because of the movements, but because of the pauses between and within the movements.
hold this position and breathe.
relax.
breathe in and out.
settle into the pose.
relax.

these things were hard for me then, and it took me 7 more years before I attended my second class. and another 3 before my third class.
today I am writing myself a big congratulatory note because they have now become a part of who I am: I am no longer antsy, impatient, and restless.
during yoga, that is.
a wee bit of this new skill may be spilling over into the rest of my life, as well. which is a fantastic thing, as I am a mom of four teenagers. breathing is crucial during this parenting stage.

one aspect of yoga that really came to life this morning is the process of learning a new, challenging position. like a handstand.
this morning we once again worked on the beginning steps to a handstand.
which entails forming a reverse L with your body: your feet against the wall 3 feet from the floor and your hands on the floor 3 feet from the wall, with your body bent at a 90 degree angle at the hips. then stretching one leg at a time straight up.
and this was what we practiced.
there is no rush, no posted time frame, no schedule to be met so that we know exactly when we will be doing a complete handstand.
you start where you are, you practice, you make small progresses, and you keep breathing.

I may be 55 before I can do a handstand.
or I may never be able to do a handstand.

but neither of those outcomes matter.
what matters is that I continue to practice and move slowly in the direction I aim for.
while I breathe, and relax, and learn a little bit more each day about how to be a human being, not a human doing.