the tao of cycling: live bravely

Monday, December 8, 2008

live bravely

it is snowing like mad outside, and I am feeling
a: glad I went on the rides I did this past weekend, and
b: glad I can't ride today.

it's so gorgeous out there!
bill rode with me on saturday, and shared this great thought: I'm happy if it snows, and I'm happy if it doesn't. if it snows, he can ski, if it doesn't, he can ride his bike. what he called a win-win.
and of course it goes much deeper than that: it's an outlook of whatever happens, I'm going to be okay with it, and even happy about it.
this may not necessarily make bill a better person, but it certainly makes him more content than a great many of us.

this morning while listening to my ipod, I heard a song by Jewel that I haven't heard in a very long time, and one particular phrase stuck with me: I want to live life bravely. what does this mean? I can't know exactly what she meant, but I can build my own interpretation here.
to me, to live life bravely means to be exactly who God (or whomever) made us to be. to accept the imperfections and funny parts and embrace fully our humanness. to do what makes our hearts sing, to honor our commitments, to be compassionate and filled with empathy. to lend a hand and accept a hand.
to step blithely around fear, and keep heading in the direction our feet want to take us in. to give up embarrassment and shame and a sense of lack. to sometimes wait patiently. to sometimes throw caution to the wind and reach out for what it is we want. to accept setbacks, to always learn, but to never give up.
to walk a winding path, to charge straight up the hill. to experience free-fall, and to slide down with a rope between our hands and knees.
to accept what comes our way.
to mold our corner of the world.
to radiate joy.
and peace.
and to hold high your head no matter what.
to live a life bravely.
this has got to be another win-win.

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.