Friday, December 5, 2008

brightening

first, I did not go out in the cold and ride my bike today. again, I saw many heartier-than-I cyclists doing that very thing, and all I felt was, ah, they are tougher than me. soon I will sound like a broken record, but I'm hoping to get out there tomorrow . . .

second, I will now move on to the more important thing, my emotional experience of the day.

this week I've written about gratitude, and about the Christmas spirit, and the two of these collided within me today and created a wonderful, physical reaction, just like what I thought I should be experiencing the other night.
yea! I'm not the in-my-head, intellectual, cold fish I feared I was . . .

this is what happened:
I am working on my many Christmas projects, from "secret elf" to the family and friends list to teacher gifts, as I like to be at least a teeny bit ahead of the game. I needed a few supplies, so I drove down into town and visited two stores. quickly. I like to get there early in the day and get in and out before chaos (and long lines) set in. I was successful, and hopped back into my car feeling pretty good about it all.
on my way home, a wave of gratitude just washed through me, literally, and my entire chest just warmed and glowed. well, that's what it felt like, anyway. with that came the thought, I am so grateful that I'm able to do this.
and what is "this?"
my silly little presents, those small tokens of appreciation and friendship and acknowledgment. they are small; they aren't expensive. they are here and gone; they are not treasures to be displayed for years. but they mean something to me. they bring me such great joy to give that I can't even explain it. bottles of soap and small tins of cookies and a roll of scotch tape. wrapped and tied and turned into gifts from our hearts.
and the other part of "this" is that I have a car (with gas in it), I have the time, and I have enough disposable income that I can do this.
I love giving my little presents; I love the fact that I might just be brightening some else's day.
because each time I give even a little something, it brightens my day like every cloud has left the sky and the sun is shining down, everywhere, casting a yellow-gold glow over the entire world.

third, I wish you all the very same brightening.

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