Monday, August 31, 2009

me, myself, and I

isn't it funny how we talk about ourselves as if we are sometimes 2 different people?
this morning I had to kick myself out the door to go ride . . .
and other times, we speak as if our body is separate, somehow, from our "self":
oh, my body causes me such frustration! I hate my body, my body hurts . . .
who are we, really? are we the entire thing, are we truly just the spirit that resides within the form? are we our minds and spirit combined, are we just our souls, or are we all of that all rolled into one at times quite disjointed human?
perhaps our task here is to learn to become everything: the body, mind, spirit, soul, ego that blend together and form a symphony, each bit of us truly in harmony with the rest.
if so, our language needs an overhaul.
because I most definitely had to kick-pull-drag myself out the door this morning to get on my bike.
me wanted to stay here.
all of me.
except, apparently, a little teeny nagging piece of my ego-brain-mind-soul that knew a ride was an important part of my life plan.

I believe that a great skill we can all develop is to learn to become an observer of our own lives. this, of course, splits us again, separating our functioning, participating self from the wise, seer part of us. but when one develops the ability to do this, a wealth of strength is discovered.
the wise, eternal, divine if you will part of us can offer validation and compassion, if we will allow it to share its input.
I used to sit in a meditative place to pull away from my humanness and try to just be the observer of my life. by now it has become such a habit that I can become that observer just by thinking about it.
the observer is always kind, always empathetic. always patient and loving. and always able to impart the belief that all is well, and all will only get better if we keep trudging---and hopefully learning to flow---along our path.
this ability to separate out the wise me is one of the greatest gifts I've discovered, for it's like having a peaceful, loving mentor in my back pocket, always ready to support the person I am.

and I'm still not really sure who it was who kicked me out the door this morning. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same one who told me to make chocolate chip cookies yesterday.
I just know that they're both pretty determined to get their way, and they're both watched over by someone who loves them a whole lot.

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