waiting to ride

it's 7:25 in the morning, and I'm sitting on the couch cradling my coffee mug between my hands, listening to the rain patter against the streets, and I see the world illuminated by a small bit of lightening, then hear the rolling rumble of thunder move across the valley.
I am waiting to ride.
the plan was to leave my house at 7 by automobile, driving up parley's canyon to today's starting point at pinebrook. but at 6:30 when the rain started in earnest here at my house, I grew concerned about the weather 1600 feet higher. a few phone calls later, and now the leave-salt-lake time has moved to 8 am.
the rain has slowed to somewhere between a mist and a drizzle, and I find myself in this narrow and slightly uncomfortable place called waiting to ride.

it does not look like a good day for a bike ride.
the skies are gray and heavy and serious, and the surfaces with which we've covered our section of earth range from damp to wet to waterlogged. the sun is far, far behind layers of moisture, and the air is thick with humidity and cool. each car that travels past my home sends sprays of water from every wheel, and I hear this more loudly than their engines, as I have trained my ears to listen for the sound of water on pavement: it is only when this sound disappears that I am willing to put my clean, dry, lovingly lubed bike out on the asphalt.

I don't know when this will happen today.
apparently I have some confidence that the sprinkles will eventually stop, the standing water will be reabsorbed, and the long ride I have planned will happen.

there is an internal tug of war, of course, because to be forced not to ride is sometimes a desired outcome. I could read, I could sip more coffee. I could catch up on dusting and laundry. I could get some work done, I could take a nap. I could relax, I could enjoy being clean and comfortable instead of exerting every ounce of muscle fiber I own and sweating and freezing and experiencing all of those wonderful/terrible feelings that swell up during a long and challenging ride.

the misting drizzle continues, and it's now 7:37 am.
I am still waiting to ride.