Saturday, February 25, 2012

illusions of control

a storm is moving in and the wind has been wicked this morning. but it was warm (ish), and I wanted to get a ride in before the snow came. so I rode, was buffeted, and laughed through my ride on this (as pooh would say) very blustery day.
after returning home, I began reading a copy of a speech someone had given, and she referred to brian andreas' story people, quoting him, and I'm passing it along now because it's just perfect for the day (and life):

If you hold on to the handle, she said, it’s easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it’s more fun if you just let the wind carry you.

time for a personal story. (as if everything I share here isn't?)
I am working on writing a book. it's big and glorious and scary and heart-wrenching and powerful. it has impacted me in myriad ways both large and small, and it's absorbed everything I have to give to it.
I've been working on this since last september, and it's coming along beautifully.

writing and posting here during these past months has at times been easy, and at times, terribly difficult and frustrating. I don't want to just post drivel, yet I don't always have much to say (between the fact that I can't ride outside very often and my head/heart/emotions are caught up in this other project), and I'm still trying to honor my commitment to posting on odd days; these all combine to leave me floundering.

because I like structure, and I don't want to give up this exercise completely, I've been wracking my brain to come up with a new posting schedule that will give me a little release, and keep me from posting worthless paragraphs and boring you to tears.

yesterday, in the nice warm shower after an awesome (not too windy) bike ride, I came up with my new plan. in honor of my incredible friend ivy, it's a prime plan:
for the next segment of time (until I change to a different plan) I will be posting on prime number days only.

it's a compromise between cutting back to once or twice a week, and staying with where I am now. it will give me a few extra days off, and it's something I can remember without having to look at a calendar.
woo hoo!

thanks, ivy, my prime number friend. ( I'm glad the months stop at 31 days, because when I go too much higher I really have to do some work to figure out if a number is prime or not. 1-31 is pretty easy.)

so . . . if all goes according to plan, this is the last posting on the 25th of a month that you'll see for quite some time.

at least that's my plan. but seeing as I'm not really in charge, I might let go of the handle and see where the wind takes me . . .
and then I suppose I'll see you when I see you.


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