what am I doing?

in trying to set up a fitness test, I was asked the following question:
what phase am I in? maintenance, working to increase fitness, or recovery?

I was stumped.
I don't know.
I'm just doing what I do, as usual, without too much thought.

and this is why I signed up for power camp: it's really nice to have someone tell you what to do.
the question of what phase I'm in has made me do some thinking. the first line of thought is that gee, I should have a plan. the second line of thought is, why don't I have a plan? the third line is then, if I have a plan, how do I know what to do to stick to my plan?
see, this is why I just get on my bike and ride.

however, I should probably be more methodical about it all. I've been telling anyone who asks, all year long, that my goal this year is to ride less than I rode last year. that usually draws a laugh, and I don't share the rest of it: I wanted to ride less, but ride smarter: make the best use of my time, that kind of thing.
but the problem with that is then you have to be methodical. you need to have a plan, you need to follow formats and be on a schedule, pay attention, and all of that. and while my intentions were good, I kept slipping back into that comfort zone of just getting on my bike and riding.
which is what I'm still doing.
I throw a recovery day in every now and again, and I temper Big Climbs with Not So Big Climbs. but I'm pretty stuck on my favorite emigration canyon ride, and I end up riding that more often than not. it lets me work in every training zone, but what does that really mean?
when I ride that am I maintaining? working to increase fitness? or just being me?
I don't know.

I fear that I will have to continue spending my winters in power camp, receiving guidance and direction, so that I can spend the rest of the year in that blissful state of "don't know."
as long as I can keep riding up emigration, it's a pretty great state to be in.