deliberations

my most significant riding goal for 2010 was to ride less than I did in 2009.

I know, that seems a bit backwards for someone who's into improving her skills, but I'm also concerned with balancing my life. I decided six thousand miles in one year was more than necessary, and have made a conscious decision to aim lower this year.

the universe helped, by breaking my clavicle and forcing me to rest for just a bit.

and I frequently think about reining myself in, and sometimes, just sometimes, it even works.

and sometimes it doesn't.

part of the problem is that I'm never quite sure what the best training decision is. for me, that is, not for anyone else.

an example is this week. my plan is to do my annual final pre-lotoja Death Ride this saturday, after which my most-loved Tapering Phase begins. as such, I thought that this week should be fairly mellow, a sort of a pre-big ride taper on a mini scale.

and then a biking friend said they were going up big mountain this morning, and I started to think, ooh, maybe I should have one big hill day this week, maybe that would be good for me since I didn't climb much these past two weekends . . .

so I rode up big mountain, which isn't terribly aggressive but it's not part of a Mellow Week, either.

see, I really just don't know what to do sometimes.

this entire season has been a little different for me as far as lotoja training goes. the previous years I've been quite committed to a training schedule that specified how long rides should be in the 16 weeks leading up the the Big Event. I often went over the weekly mileage goals, but I rarely stayed under.

this year, I've rarely looked at the training guide.

I've rode the toughest ride of my life a few weeks ago, but then I've had a few weekends of not-so-tough-at-all. my total weekly miles have been plentiful, but then I worry I'm not doing enough long rides.

sigh.

I've been riding well, I feel strong and capable, and although this weekend's Death Ride won't be fun, I'm looking forward to it being over. my mindset is that it will be difficult, but that it will end.

and I suppose the point of this whole essay is just to say that I often struggle with what the best thing is when it comes to training. and this is why, someday, it will be nice not to be training for lotoja. to just go ride where I want to, and not to stress over whether or not the ride is long enough. tough enough. hilly enough.

to just enjoy all of our beautiful scenery without tacking on one more canyon, one more stretch of wasatch, another dozen miles because I think I need to.

someday.