the tao of cycling: here and there

Thursday, January 29, 2009

here and there

tonight I am wishing for a magical essay to appear from above, sprinkling down upon me and falling right out of my fingertips.
tonight, I have nothing to say.

I am in another pause: this is a good thing, but it's like a big deep breath before you jump into that seemingly bottomless pool of water. during that big deep breath you make sure of your position, double-check your intended landing spot, adjust your suit, and give yourself a mental attaboy. you're thinking about the big jump---the thrill of it and how you will be changed as a result---but you're not quite there yet. you're running through the have-to's, working your way through that process before you reach that big event. the big event is your focus, but you're also able to accomplish what needs to be accomplished. future focus, while functioning in the present.

that's what I've been doing.
I have my sights on something that will be happening but is not yet.
in the meantime I have to work out in the morning, shuttle kids from here to there, replenish inventory, answer the phone, take the cat to be neutered, have lunch with daughters at school, run errands and return library books, take a child to the orthodontist, get a kid's hair cut, take same kid to piano, pick up the surgically altered cat, somehow make dinner, take kids to basketball practice, fold laundry, remove dog hair from the couch, pick up same kids from practice, wrangle everyone into bed, and set the coffee machine before I retire so that when I get up tomorrow morning I'll have something to help me do it all again.

oh, and find something to write about so as to not miss a day of posting to my web-log.
which tonight is apparently the concept of a future focus coupled with attention to the current day.
I am here, participating, functioning, flowing relatively smoothly through my day, yet I am not here at all.
existence on two separate planes.
simultaneously.
I'm smiling as I realize that I'm not too bad at this.
however, it is now time for the last shuttle of the day, so I will gracefully close by thanking the powers that be who managed to somehow sprinkle a little fairy dust my way that magically turned into a little bit of something to say.

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.