today I can't imagine myself riding lotoja.
my brain is having a drama fest, telling me what a fool I am, and how crazy I am to think I can do that ride. and that even if I DO complete it, the time it will take me is so long that I might as well not do it.
that I can barely make it up any hill, that everything is steep and I'm just slow. that last saturday's 90 miles wiped me out: who do I think I am to commit to riding 206 miles?
I am also registered to ride the 'tour de park city' century this coming saturday: it has some pretty significant climbing involved. a friend was telling me that their family drove the route the other day, and it is LONG and STEEP and NARROW and has NO SHOULDER and on and on . . .
so my little drama queen brain has leaped on that as well, telling me I can't possibly do it. that I'll be the slowest one, that I probably won't even be able to make it.
days like this I just want to tell my brain to take a hike. I know it's just a little pity party going on in there, that I actually am capable, and I will succeed at whatever I set out to accomplish. that my brain just has nothing better to do so it's going to stir up some DRAMA to keep me flustered and anxious.
it is doing a darn good job.
and I am worn out from talking back to it today, so I am shutting myself down and counting on tomorrow to be (in my favorite singer Sting's immortal words) a brand new day.