Wednesday, March 23, 2011


yep, it's another chamois cream conversation.

I am a believer in the stuff, whether my ride is an hour in the spin room, two hours outside, or all day, riding across county and state lines.

a year or so ago I visited my favorite bike shop and they were out of my favorite chamois cream.

"We have this," the helpful bike shop boy said, pointing to a slender black box decorated with subtle red and white ink in the shape of a saddle. or possibly in the shape of something else.

dz nuts, I read.

"Ah, no, I don't think so," I said, shaking my head, trying to squelch the blush erupting upward onto my cheeks. protect your junk, the sales jingle leers at me. this stuff is not, definitely not, for me.

fast forward six months or so, and there's a new product out on bike shop shelves. made by dznuts, it's called bliss, and it's for us girls. it's been available since last spring, and this is what they have to say about it (my comments in bold):

Ladies you have spoken and dznuts has answered. This elegant pro grade chamois cream for women provides the comfort and lubricious saddle glide required for top level training and racing. It is scientifically formulated for women's sensitive skin. (lubricious? look this word up. pretty sexy undertone for something made in utah.)

anti-bacterial: pre/probiotics complex reduces the chance of infection and encourages beneficial skin flora growth. (I'm supposed to want flora growing on my skin?? I suppose it's better than calling it bacteria.)

anti-inflamatory: decreases itching, prickling and discomfort. (the word is inflammatory. who is their editor?)

wound-healing: strengthens natural biological skin defenses and promotes healing in previously damaged skin.

anti-chaffing: moisture absorbing polymers isolate excess moisture, protecting delicate skin against the chamois. (there is no such word as chaffing. it's chafing. geez. how embarrassing for the dznuts people. these words are on their packaging and everything. yes, this product is from utah.)

no tingling: same pro-level protection as dznuts pro chamois cream, without the tingling sensation. (is it possible they're started putting the boy stuff in the girl tube? because, ahem, I experienced some warmth and tingling . . . )

so I'm not sure whether I got dznuts or bliss, or whether it matters.

the stuff gave me a warm and tingly sensation that pretty much disappeared the moment I sat on the bike saddle. then I was left with a nice, smooth, lubricious feeling in my saddle interface area. I like that word, lubricious, might need to work that into more of my writing.

dznuts was created for super cyclist dave zabriskie (his mother must be so proud to see his initials and--well, you know--spread all over boxes and ads around the country), and I must say I think they did a darn good job.

given the choice, I think I'll choose to add bliss to my biking experience more often than not.

for as joseph campbell told us,

follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.

sounds good to me.

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