tipping point

something changed for me the other day. I was riding and the grade of the road gradually increased and I just powered right up the thing. it was different, somehow, and I've spent the past four days trying to understand what switched up for me. because something did. every day since last thursday I've had this different way of pedaling up rising roads. it feels different, and it feels good.

it's as though my entire leg is engaged, like I'm digging deeper and finding something there and being able to utilize it.

I keep trying to figure out exactly what's going on, though, and I can't.

this is what drives me crazy.

I want an explanation for everything. I want to know why some days are better than others, why some days I'm fast and other days I'm not. why some days I feel powerful-capable-strong and other days I feel wimpy-weak-ineffective. on those good days, I want to know what I've done right so I can repeat it.

and I want to know what changed last thursday morning at eleven-thirty.

actually, what I want even more is to make sure I keep this new thing.

I'm hoping I turned a corner, made a leap into a new way of riding, of pulling power from within. I want this to be just how I am from now on.

perhaps if I wish it so it will be?

alas, they say nothing stays the same. everything changes.

I'd like to hold onto this for just a while, though, because I'm really enjoying it. it's not that I don't have to work to climb those rises, it's just a different kind of work that is more efficient and effective. which are two of my favorite ways to be.

I hope I reached a tipping point last thursday, a point where years of practice, effort, training and work finally culminated in a great muscular Ah-Ha that has resulted, simply, in a new way to be.

I'll keep you posted.