digging

if you're seriously engaged, there comes a point in your cycling/hiking/running/jogging/climbing when you think you can't take one more step/rotation/whatever.

you then have to dig down deep and find something within to keep you going, some encouragement, a bit of energy, something that renews your commitment and determination to complete whatever you've started. it's what the little steam engine found, it's a belief that converts to muscle power through some magical means.

this happens to me frequently, and I usually am able to find something to convince my legs to keep going. it can be a reminder of my goal, a lecture to not be a wimp, or simply a statement that I can do anything I set my mind to.

sometimes I argue with what I find deep within, and sometimes I give in to the "I can't take one more step" belief.

but most of the time, I find what I need to keep working toward my goal.

writing here has fallen into that place of "I can't take another step." it's been this way for a while, and I keep reaching deep within to find something to keep me going. I'm stuck in a place of "I donwanna" and it's only through this reaching deep, reminding myself of my commitment, and listening to internal lectures that I'm able to keep going.

the reason for my "I donwanna", I believe, is that I'm deeply involved in another writing project, and most of my creative juices are flowing that direction. there's little time, desire, or imagination left for the tao of cycling. and so I dig deep each time I post here, searching for a spark of inspiration, something wise or wonderful to write about, and I find that it's just like climbing a big hill on my bike: it's not easy.

it takes commitment, determination, and focus.

and just like when climbing that big hill, I often want to give up. but I know I'll be a better cyclist for not giving up. and I know I'll be a better writer for pushing through and not throwing in the proverbial towel.

there's more to us than we realize.

and we'll never know this until we reach deep within over and over again, in one arena and then another. and then another.

just as the unexamined life is not worth living (socrates), an untested life is pale and shallow in comparison to one that has been tested again and again.

colorful and deep, now that's a great life.