Wednesday, June 10, 2009

where everything is good

something magical happens when I am riding my bike: I can forget the rest of the world.
the challenges, the trials, the frustrations, the pace which doesn't always seem to suit me. the problems, the difficulties, the things-you-want-to-solve-for-others-but-can't, the uncomfortable feelings.
all of these start to fade, to loosen their grip on me, as I begin pedaling up the street.

inclines help.

I find the less oxygen I have to shoot up to my brain, the closer I am to that magical state where everything is good.
perhaps this is part of why I like riding hills and canyons so much.
I won't numb myself to reality through drugs or alcohol, but I'm willing to do it through intense exercise.
because when one re-enters reality after using or abusing substances like drugs and alcohol, everything is just as bleak as it was beforehand. but returning to reality after 100 minutes riding a canyon is entirely different: things seem more manageable.
yes, it is still an escape, but it is one that often enables me to put things in perspective. it helps me connect with my physical body, and with the inner stillness at the depth of me. during those 100 minutes I am able to release my connection with this artificial construct we call daily life, with those games we play and maneuvers we undertake to successfully reach our goals. I can return to a focus on the more permanent and meaningful parts of me, and find the strength and the courage to keep going.

and the faith.

because I find it impossible to spend any time at all outside and not believe in a mightier power, who ultimately takes care of every single one of us.

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