I discovered something about myself this past weekend.
a few things, actually.
which illuminates the concept that a good life is never static.
I thought I was a certain way, and circumstances conspired to show me a slightly different picture of myself, as well as providing me an opportunity for a new experience that I found completely joyful and fulfilling, not in the least bit the disappointment I feared it might be.
I am on a distribution list to receive a weekly email message from a man named Steven Lane Taylor, and after I started working on this post this morning, I happened to open his message for the week. the following is a direct quote:
"You may not know yourself as well as you think you do!
Regardless of how certain you are about what makes you happy, I suspect that there are many things in life that could bring you great joy, and you are relatively unaware of what those things are. There are many experiences that your soul hungers to have that you are simply not in touch with . . . yet.
Fortunately, the divine flow knows you better than you know yourself. It not only knows what you "think" you want, but it also knows what you really need deep down inside. It knows what makes your spirit soar, and it is continually guiding you to the effortless fulfillment of those unconscious desires . . . as well as your more conscious ones."
a perfect dovetail with my thoughts this morning!
what happened for me last weekend is that my plans changed 2 days before the MS ride. I had been planning to ride the event with a friend who was on a different team, but then that plan was altered.
thus I was placed in a situation where I had to function with a group of people I hardly knew and would barely recognize if they were wearing street clothes: my Bad Ass teammates. I had met a few of these Bad Ass riders on the 2 training rides I participated in during the past months, but not many. and both of those training rides were ridden loosely, everyone at their own pace and just re-grouping at key points along the way.
the team rides this past weekend were serious pace line, pelaton-type riding, with usually between 15 and 30 of us sticking together as a herd.
and it was beautiful.
they rode fast enough to keep me challenged, and slowly enough to let me keep breathing.
I rode next to different people throughout the rides, learning names and discovering personalities. I drafted a lot, and I pulled a bit. I chatted and laughed and have never enjoyed riding a hundred miles more.
what more could I ask for?
Steven ends his message with these words:
"By all means, go ahead and let the Universe know where it is you "think" you want to go. But remember to always be open to arriving at a different destination than the one you originally set your sights on. Because when you let the divine flow lead the way, chances are it will direct you to a destination that is greater, grander, and more deeply fulfilling than anything you ever imagined . . . or even thought possible."
I know this, deep down I know this, however it is still difficult to let go of the reins at times.
so every time I have an experience like that of this past weekend, I float a little higher on those clouds I sometimes walk on. I was brave, I jumped in with both feet (and both wheels), and I had an absolutely fantastic new experience.
[you can join Steven's weekly message list by sending an email to him at firstname.lastname@example.org ]