brown stuff

with crumbly chopped up nuts on top.
and big fat macadamia nuts inside it.
toffee.

argh.

this box of toffee has been sitting on my sideboard, staring me down, since Christmas, and it finally won yesterday.
I opened it.
I started eating it.
I didn't finish it--not yet--but I'm well on my way.

and unfortunately, yesterday was a day off for me, so I didn't even have a vigorous bike ride or run (ha) or snowshoe to blame my appetite on. not even a yoga class. I sat, I wrote, I sat, I ate. I ate some toffee.
I ate more toffee.

this morning the box is still there. my goal is to have it still be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next all the way to the weekend, but I'm not sure that will happen.

in the weight room after class today biking buddy bob told me about an article he'd read over the weekend about will power. he said the finding was that will power is finite.
"finite?" I asked. "I can't believe that--I see it as a character trait, something deep within you. I don't see that running out."
"I think the meaning was more that it can only go so far, such that if you use a lot for one area, you might not have as much for something else."
ah, I nodded my head. I get it.
I use all my will power to exercise and clean and work and care for my family, which leaves none left over for resisting toffee. yep, makes perfect sense.

and sometimes it's okay to use things up.
my friend holly posted in her blog yesterday an erma bombeck (gotta love her) quote that I plan to incorporate, with just one small tweak that you will notice below:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent [or toffee] left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.”

time for just one small bite, gotta go.