the tao of cycling: envisioning a future life

Thursday, June 23, 2011

envisioning a future life

someday, someday. how many times do we begin a sentence this way, a sentence which conveys an image of what might, possibly, at some future time, be?

I try to live my life as it's happening, being grateful for what is, celebrating the good that surrounds me and re-framing the not-so-good into better-than-it-might-be. I don't spend much time longing for things to be different.
nevertheless, there are times when I think about what might someday be.
what keeps this healthy, though, is that it's more about looking forward to another phase in life than it is wishing this one to be done.
got it?

like this: gosh I love having teenagers; they're so full of dreams and energy and thoughts and plans. but I'm also going to love it when they someday finish high school and college and settle down into their own lives . . .
or this: gosh it's great being an unknown author, because I don't have to deal with critics, reviewers, an unhappy publisher, or an agitated and impatient editor. but someday, when I'm published, I'm certainly going to enjoy the attention and royalty checks and validation.

so back to today.
today I rode my bike (surprise!), but in a manner I don't usually. biking buddy bill and I drove to within a few miles of the base of american fork canyon (5100'), then we parked and saddled up. we rode up the alpine loop, to the 8060' summit, then down to sundance (6100') ski resort. after a pause in the sun alongside the rushing creek, we rode back up and the down, down, down out of the canyon and to the car.
what's so different, you ask?
the difference today is that we simply rode the hills, and didn't tack on 40 or 50 miles around them.
this is rare.
and leads to my someday.

someday---a day I look forward to, without regretting my current days---I think I will ride 20 and 30 and 40 mile rides, and call it good.
I will park at the bottom of big climbs and simply bike up them then back down.
I will ride a loop and cut off the extra part so that it remains under 50 miles, instead of adding to reach 100.
I will ride 38 miles, like today, and be both pleased and satisfied.

although today I am pleased and satisfied, it has something to do with the fact that this weekend I'll be riding 175 miles.

someday, I'll be pleased and satisfied with a 38-miler being my toughest ride of the week.

I can see eyes rolling and words of disbelief forming inside minds, and my response is simply this:

hang around for another 20 years and just see.

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.