I spent good chunks of yesterday and today inside a gigantic, reverberating and echoing, cinder block sided warehouse jammed with hundreds of teen aged girls in spanks, their coaches, and their families.
now that I've spent a couple hours here at home, in dead silence, I am beginning to reclaim my sanity and my ears are no longer ringing. (knock on wood. come in!)*
my daughter's team had a tough tournament. they played twelve games, and won a third of them. today's score was 0-6. ow. most games were won by only two or three points, and a great deal of talent existed on both sides of the net. but in the end, only one team can win.
mistakes were made, calls were at times weak/late/questionable, and the referees were imperfect. but in none of the eight games my daughter's team lost were they unfairly defeated. they just plain old lost. they were outplayed. they were not the winners.
now here's the great thing about me: I'm used to not winning. it's okay. especially in the athletic world, I don't expect to win, or to even come close. I am one who wears her "participant" button with grace and good humor. I accept that I'm a decently strong cyclist, but there are so very many (even in my own age/sex group) who are better that I don't even consider playing the racing game.
that's not true.
I have considered it.
and I have tossed it out the window, because I don't need proof that I am not the winner.
my daughter has the drive, the desire to be on a winning team. and my guess is, she's going to get there. she's not one to settle for less than what she's capable of, and she will keep pushing until she reaches her goal. not for her are the platitudes, the "everybody wins" sandbox play. she is driven by something within that knows where she's headed, what fuels her, and what brings her satisfaction.
she wants to be the best.
she wants to win.
she will not settle for a "participant" medal.
maybe that's because she's fourteen and not forty-eight, maybe it's because she is different from me. regardless, I'll place a bet that in her next volleyball tournament, after my ears stop ringing and my head stops pounding and I'm able to do math again, I will find that her team has won more than they've lost, that the win/loss percentage has at least flipped.
she'll take them there, because she just won't settle for less.
she, this girl, wants to be a winner.
which she will be.