we have options, every day, about how we'll spend our time. there are so very many things I want to do ~ and only so much time and energy available ~ that I cannot do everything I wish to.
we all use some internal process to decide how to prioritize such lists, and while I love couch time with a book, that's not always the most fulfilling thing I do.
I love to be productive, to learn, to grow, to use my imagination and my creative threads. but it's obvious that I have other drives. and when I read the following quote earlier today, another little piece of who I am and how I operate clicked into place, for I think he touchs on something scarily true.
To be a cyclist is to be a student of pain...at cycling's core lies pain, hard and bitter as the pit inside a juicy peach. It doesn't matter if you're sprinting for an Olympic medal, a town sign, a trailhead, or the rest stop with the homemade brownies. If you never confront pain, you're missing the essence of the sport. Without pain, there's no adversity. Without adversity, no challenge. Without challenge, no improvement. No improvement, no sense of accomplishment and no deep-down joy. Might as well be playing Tiddly-Winks.
~ Scott Martin
there's nothing wrong with tiddly winks. it's just that I can't play them for too long ~ just as I can't sit on the couch and read for too long ~ before that peach pit tells me it wants to go play again.
someday I may move through this phase and enter a new one, one where I'm content to ride my cruiser to the store, to the library, to the park, only when the weather is lovely.
but for today it seems I have a tight relationship with pain, pain and it's compatriots adversity, challenge, improvement, accomplishment, and . . . eventually, inevitably, thankfully, joy.