the tao of cycling: no more no

Saturday, April 9, 2011

no more no

I have a new life philosophy.
I have decided not to accept "no" anymore.

I've spent years in this meek, subservient place of "okay, whatever you say," and it's time for that to end. I've reframed, I've accepted, I've been nice. I've been kind, supportive, understanding, patient, enduring, tolerating, one big ball of acquiescence.
ENOUGH!
I'M DONE!

it's time to start expecting "yes," and not putting up with "no."
the world is forewarned: I expect nothing less than everything from now on.

does this strike home? do you ever find yourself just sitting in a place of mediocrity, going along, tolerating, dealing with what is because that's all there seems to be? I woke up the other day to realize that I'd fallen into this (terrible) place of not expecting anything better than "just okay." here's an example:

my son is applying for college, and his number one pick has placed him on their waiting list. they promise nothing, and make it clear that those on the waiting list have somewhere between a zero and a 25 percent chance of making it in. oh, probably not worth sitting on that list, might as well just say "no thanks."

my reaction was WIMPY!

the me who just woke up the other day has a different response: of course he'll sit on that waiting list, and he'll call them and write a letter and let them know that he intends to be one of those who get admitted. why not?? why give up a dream just because someone says, "well, maybe . . . "

I'm also in the process of securing an agent for my book. (not trying to find one, securing one.) so far, many have said no thanks. but I'm not done. not at all. I will find one, because I will no longer take "no" as a permanent state of the world. I am done with that.

so there.

I just registered for lotoja. this will be my 5th, and I am going to kick its butt this year.

so there.

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the Male Ego

The other day I was coming down a canyon in my drop bars (two years ago I would have said, 'what's a drop bar?'), working hard, when I came up on two guys who were also heading downhill but at a more leisurely pace. I passed them, said hello as I did so, and pulled back into the bike lane. a few minutes later they went flying past me, faces looking dead ahead, not a single bit of acknowledgment that I even existed on this planet let alone was involved in and enjoying the same sport they were.
I have to attribute this to the male ego. what else can it be? now I know we all have egos, myself included. and mine even shows its ridiculous little head once in a while, or perhaps more often. but the difference between mine and say, those of certain men on bicycles, is that I KNOW mine exists and I can LAUGH at mine. I know my ego was quite excited to pass those guys, and I could also smile because I knew if the men had really been working like I was, they would have kicked my butt down the hill.
I think I pissed them off.
and I'm sure I will be sharing with you much more of my thoughts about the male ego . . .

a little history

I was married, and I had a mountain bike which I rarely rode. we separated, I moved out, and four months later someone stole my bike. the next spring, 2005, I bought myself a new mountain bike. I rode occasionally, and in april 2006 I rode in my first century, the Cactus Hugger in St. George, Utah. I made it 54 miles on that mountain bike, and it took me about 6 hours. I think that included the rest stops where I prayed that someone would steal my bike again . . .
in june 2006 I started riding my mountain bike five mornings a week, a 45-55 minute loop that was intended to be all about exercise. and what I found was that I loved the quiet, peaceful morning full of bird chatter and barely breaking sunrises. by that fall I was hooked, and began considering the purchase of a road bike. I rode up emigration canyon for the first time that Labor Day of 2006, panting and plowing along on my trusty (heavy) bike, and a month later I was the proud owner of my own road bike: I had become a two-bike girl!
a 17-week-long "power camp" over the winter and a handful of new friends kept bicycling front and center in my life, and when spring of 2007 rolled around I was ready to hit the pavement. I rode my first century the end of april, when I again went to St. George and completed that Cactus Hugger. it took me about 7 hours, but this time I rode the entire 100 miles with about 9300 feet of vertical gain. woo hoo!
I started riding canyons around our area, emigration and millcreek, city creek, big cottonwood, little mountain and big mountain, and once--yes, only once--little cottonwood.
then in september of 2007, I rode from Logan, Utah, to Jackson, Wyoming, in the slightly infamous LOTOJA race. I rode, I did not race. and I completed the thing, crediting my good training buddies, the incredibly perfect weather, my support team, and an amazing convergence of all things positive in the universe.
I put in about 3500 miles last season, and as of today, july 19, 2008, I have about 1700 in, adding to it every day.
I have again signed on to ride the LOTOJA race, and my goal is to have just somewhere near as great a ride as I did last year. oh, and to have someone fun to talk with along the way as I got incredibly bored last year . . . star valley is still a nightmare scene in my biking memories . . .
and here is a picture of the machine that has helped me reclaim my life.