in class this morning I overheard mimi telling another camper, it's a sign of improved fitness when you have to work harder to get your heart rate up, so good job! it's good that you're having to work so hard!
we were doing a zone 3 thing, one of those supposed recovery workouts. you know, the ones I always complain about being anything but recovery for me. spin fast, but keep your heart rate low enough to stay under your lactate threshold.
and I was sweating like crazy, my legs were upset with me, and my darn heart rate just kept wanting to drop.
and my legs wanted to slow down.
and I wanted to back off and just be in zone 1.
this is the terrible realization that comes along with all of this training: it is never going to get easier.
it is always going to be difficult.
I am always going to sweat and moan to myself and wish it were over.
because training, no matter what your fitness, is all about the next level. it will always be hard.
this is decidedly unfair.
so I'm thinking I have two options: keep going, or just give it up.
this crooked smile is spreading across my face: which do you think I will choose?
some days I want to choose the latter. but I know I won't. at least for now, I will keep going. I will be the swoosh girl and just do it.
I've acknowledged my mental progress, how very far I've come and the breakthroughs I've experienced. I've made physical progress as well, and I truly don't want to give that all up.
thus, I just get to keep going.
because somehow, someway, in some manner, this must be the right thing for me to do.