Friday, January 15, 2010


it's been almost 19 years since I buried my son, little joe.
seems like just a few corners and turns and doorways ago.
jake, though, we will not bury. it doesn't seem right for him.
one day, after we've had time to just be, we will take his ashes and spread them over God's ground and let him return to this beautiful earth. it will be someplace I've ridden, someplace where I will continue to ride, a place I find joyful and vibrantly alive and intensely rich with simple, natural beauty.
I have a spot in mind, and we will see if, over time, that remains the chosen spot.
but for now, today, we will sit with jake's ashes and cry, be sad for ourselves, thinking of all that we will miss about his precious presence.
we will be joyful, as well, for the gift of his release from this life. we see him playing and laughing and giggling with God . . . and this is what helps us keep taking those steps forward, one foot first, and then the other.
I don't say rest in peace: he's been resting for years. I say go with God, be free, soar and swoop and hold a place for me.

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