it's my belief that we, as humans, aren't really sure how to be.
witness the unending shelves of "self-help" books that guide us through everything from childbirth to composting.
witness the unending laws that govern our daily activities, from driving a car (and riding a bicycle)* to how we marry and pass our worldly possessions on to others.
we listen to pastors, we attend cotillion.
we hire trainers and coaches and consultants and therapists.
we commit to diets and classes and training programs.
we turn to google with questions and take what we find as the truth.
some of us are experts in our own fields, and most all of us find patterns and programs that work for us. we establish systems and frameworks, and choose guiding philosophies which help us navigate what the world throws our way each day.
we also become possessive of our ideas and beliefs about these structures, and sometimes even rigid. we can begin to believe we know what's best for us, and become irritable when forced to do otherwise. when the universe throws curve balls after we've planned on balls coming low and straight over the plate, we can become prickly. we have our two hands placed firmly on our handlebars, gripping and steering.
this morning in yoga our towhead blonde bohemian instructor, diana, began a routine which I've become familiar with. it's not a routine I enjoy. it's one we do so often I am a bit bored with it--although it's challenging--and I was wanting something different. I was resisting. going along with it anyway, but inwardly entertaining a thought process which went like this,
oh no, not this again. I want something different. I think I should be working on different things, not these same old positions. why can't we be doing something else? I need to be doing other moves . . .
and then, shazam!
like a knock on my skull, I remembered the age-old message of the universe:
we don't always know what's best for our own selves.
who I am to think that I know exactly what I need for my best growth, development, and richness of experience?
I think I want instant gratification and success, but is that what will serve me best in the long run?
why do I think I know what is best for me?
why don't I just relax into the fact that my job is simply to show up?
I decided to let diana be in charge of my yoga experience this morning. maybe her asanas and movements were exactly what I needed.
I got myself to class, brought a mat and a willingness to do my best, and that's really all I needed to do.
there are so many options in our lives, so many opportunities, choices, decisions, paths. and if we show up, enthusiastically, with a willing heart, most of these paths will lead us to the same place. it doesn't always have to be "my way": often the best experiences we have are those that we fell into, those that someone else planned, those that were the last thing on earth we thought we'd do.
we don't have to be in charge of everything.
let go and let God, they say.
this morning I let go and let diana, goddess of yoga, determine my path.
and it's been a darn good day.
so I guess the only thing I need to do is keep on letting go . . . while keeping at least one hand (the hand which is willing to show up and do my best) on the handlebars.
* there is a law on the utah books that says a cyclist must ride with at least one hand on the handlebars at all times. really. yikes.