reflecting

it's been snowing for days, beginning with a grainy, unclean, mucky sleetish snow and gradually morphing into a beautiful, crystalline, light powder that now sits lightly over every surface and is sparkling under the sun's rays.
it's a beautiful morning, full of promise and perfection.
and here I sit, on the day of closure, looking back at my cycling year. I think I'll take a few minutes to just glory in all of those miles, all of those experiences, the totality of what the past 364 days have meant to my life.

my 6000 miles included:

• a chilly ride from wanship up chalk creek to the wyoming border on my first bad ass team ride
• durango to silverton, 34 degrees at coal bank pass on memorial day weekend
• the fastest 100 mile tour of cache county I've ever been on, thanks to the bad ass team
• the 1000 warrior-fools ride, hitting the base of little cottonwood 94 miles in, on a 99 degree day
• my slowest lotoja yet, an exacting test of my mental strength
• countless rides up and down emigration to my beloved little dell and back
• wolf creek pass, torrey, teasdale, monte cristo, trapper's loop, old snow basin road, little cottonwood, big cottonwood, big mountain, morgan, ,millcreek, henefer, city creek, francis, kamas, midway, brown's canyon . . .
• and 2 (yes TWO) mountain bike rides

places those miles did not include that I wanted them to:
guardsman (I only went halfway up, once)
albian basin
hawaii

just kidding about the hawaii part. though I have heard from quite a few people that riding at sea level is a thrill ~ all that available oxygen, you know. someday I will ride at sea level and experience that for myself.

I have had an amazing year. I am truly grateful for every experience, both off and on my bike, as each such experience is moving me closer to becoming the best version of me. I suffered plenty this year, and I celebrated great accomplishments. I kept my commitment to myself, and I continue to keep the concept of balance part of my belief system. I will never stop learning, I will continue to keep an open mind, I will always take it all in and keep only that which matches who I am.

I haven't yet committed to any organized rides for the coming year. at the moment I have no great goals, no have-to-do-it rides. my overarching goal is to train smarter, and not ride quite so much. what my challenge will be is that I like to ride my canyons, and I don't necessarily like doing "drills". so once power camp is over, I will need to develop a plan that allows me to ride where and when I want that also includes the kind of workouts I need to keep me fit and progressing up that performance ladder.
piece of cake.
grin.
I mean, sweet potato.
or kale.
yes, I will continue to incorporate those good foods in my diet. yes, I will still eat cake. yes, I will add more electrolyte replacement drinks in my intake and I will not overhydrate with plain water.
yes, I will still drink diet coke and coffee.
can't change too much or I wouldn't be me.

which brings me to my best goal for the new year: to be authentically me, me, me. because that's what God intended, and that's the best way to play my part in the world.
so how about if you be you this year, and I'll be me, and we'll all work together to try to pull it back around to the kind of world we want to live in?
happy new year, and may it become your best one yet.

the fool

lest you fear I am a one-dimensional being, one who lives only for 2-wheeled adventures and velo opportunities, herewith I share with you my Grand Adventure of last sunday:
Susan Takes a Boarding Lesson.

I could begin with today, and tell you that I've spent most of it hobbling around, limping, favoring my poor bruised knees, tailbone, and thumb . . . but that might take some of the fun out of the story.

I think I'll begin with the fact that I'm quite excited (and amazed) that john captured this picture of me upright and smiling.
smiling wasn't the difficult part.
remaining upright was.

I took a snowboarding lesson at snow basin sunday, and I ~ once again ~ enjoyed the state of humbled humiliation. I find this to be good for my character, this experience of being a novice, an initiate, or, more accurately, a bit of a fool.

there is a card in the tarot deck called 'the fool.' it is known as the card of infinite possibilities, and it represents someone embarking on a journey full of confidence, trust, and faith that all will be well, as well as an understanding that every experience encountered has a deep, essential meaning.

I learned many things during my hours on (and underneath, beside, and holding) that board: one of the most important being how very darn easy it is to just ride a bike.
but I also learned, or more accurately, relearned, that oh-so-important feeling of starting from nothing and building a bit of a skill that takes you to a place you've never been before.
and which makes you desire a bit more of the same.

I'll leave it to you to guess whether or not I'll be on a snowboard again this year.
or next.
or possibly the one after . . .

the new bike

a few days before Christmas I was walking through a wal-mart parking lot.
I noticed a mountain bike leaning against a car, a bright, shiny royal blue brand new mountain bike. the car was some kind of compact sedan, a dark red color. the man wore jeans and a puffy coat, and I watched him pop the trunk open, then begin trying to fit the bike into the trunk.
I grinned. both outside and inside.
some lucky kid was getting a shiny new bike for Christmas, and my mind just went spiraling off in a multitude of pleasant directions, thinking of where he or she might be headed on that magical machine.
this is what I hope: that whoever it is who received that bike will find even one tenth of the amount of pleasure I have found on my bike this past year. may they swoop and soar and pant and push and grind and be exultant when they reach the top of every hill. may they work up a sweat, and spend oodles of time coasting. may they discover the pure joy of wind rushing against their cheeks. may they grin every bit as big as the grin that lit my insides when I saw that bike.
and may the bike-giver experience that wonderful feeling one gets from giving a gift that brings someone great joy and pleasure for hours and weeks and months to come.

happy pedaling to us all!

bodies

what a thing to discuss two days before Christmas: bodies.
body shapes and sizes and structures.
now I realize we're all subtly adjusting our bodies with all that holiday season high caloric intake, but in general we don't move far from "normal" in just a week or two.
and this is what I keep noticing lately: we come in a million (or so) different versions of normal.

I, unfortunately, grew up with that image of Beautiful that was long-limbed, narrow waisted and hipped, full breasted, naturally blonde, and, well, much more Barbie-like than seemed reasonable. (I do remember believing princess caroline of monaco was gorgeous for a while there, she of dark hair and blue eyes: she broke the mold a tad with that brunette mane, but still possessed all the other physical feature must-haves.)
oh, and creamy complexions: skin that never flushes or reddens or behaves in a prickly manner.
cheeks that become rosy in the cold, but never go blotchy.
noses that, if they turn bright red with cold, look dainty and sweet.
let's see, what else. oh, yes, never, never, never any cellulite on any part of the body. firm, taught skin that glows with health and makes evident the strong, supple, capable muscle structure beneath.

that was exhausting.
it's hard to think about the perfection that taunts us. all of those fit, gorgeous, physically blessed people who grace the covers of magazines and our television and movie screens.
reality is that we come in all those amazingly different shapes and sizes, and there is very little perfect out there. or I should say, we are each perfect in our own imperfect ways.

in my power camp class there are extremely fit people whose shapes aren't the typical Beautiful Person shape. some of these people even have a little extra body fat. some have thick torsos, some have thick legs, some have thick arms. there are people whose legs are short, and those whose legs never seem to end. some of us are tall, some are shorter, and a bunch of us are smack dab in the middle.
no two of us are very much alike at all.
and this is what I've been noticing lately.
I wish I didn't think so much about it, but I do. if I could come to class wearing makeup and a ballgown it would be completely different. but the makeup-less, sweaty, bicycle shorts (ugh)-wearing me is not me with my best look. so I'm always looking to see what other people look like in bike shorts.
yes, there are a few (okay, two) women who look really good in their bike shorts. the rest of us sport lumps and bumps and are not incredibly flattered by the padded chamois. and for this, I feel great relief.
I just want confirmation that I'm not the only imperfect non-Beautiful Person out there.

I'm getting better at accepting how I am. I tell myself I'm fit and healthy, and those are the important things.

but I still want to come back in my next life with flawless, non-reddening skin and long, slender legs.

those things in my ears

I am plugged in again.
back on my music kick:
at one with my ipod.

I love my ipod.
yes, I know you've heard this before. but I hadn't used my cute greeen ipod nano for months, and hadn't worked out with it since . . . well, perhaps early one wet fall morning when I used it in the spin room, before the 6 am class started, needing my own music to spin to. but prior to that it had been since last spring's weight room workouts, those long and boring sessions before riding season began in earnest.
so, a few days ago I asked my son to purchase two songs for me and put them on my ipod. which he did. and then I plunked myself down at the computer, opened my library, and created a new playlist.
I have hundreds of songs on my ipod, many of which were placed there by my daughters who for some mysterious and unknown reasons occasionally need to use my ipod instead of their own. I usually just hit shuffle, then skip through the songs I don't care to listen to. but what I discovered is that too many songs I love never get shuffled to the play position.
so, nearly 3 years after I received my ipod and made my first 2 playlists, I finally created a new one, playlist number 3.
and included the best of the best, the songs I love to hear and to sing with, the songs that motivate and inspire me.
monday after power camp class I headed down to the weight room, eagerly strapping my ipod to my arm, pushing the play button. from the very first song I was in heaven. I love my music.
the only aspect of listening to my ipod I regret is that it is an alienating activity . . . I get lost in my own little musical world and I am both unapproachable and oblivious. I don't make eye contact with anyone because if they then open their mouths to speak, I can't hear a word they say. and usually, I don't want to hear it because I would then have to pause my song and leave my inner bliss.
for now, my ipod has become novel again. I adore it, I am engrossed in what it's feeding me through my earbuds. and my compatriots will just have to tolerate my physical presence/mental absence until I settle down into a more tolerable relationship with my ipod.
which may not occur for a while, because my December 09 playlist (creative title, I know) is full of chords and words and voices and melodies and harmonies that please my soul and fill me with joy.
amazing what a little piece of hardware and a set of earphones can do for a person.
may you find your joys and soul-filling experiences somewhere out there, as well.

ps: this is post #500. apparently it's a week for milestones.

coldplay times three

those of you who know me know that coldplay is one of those bands I really, really like. a few years back they recorded a song called 2000 miles, which had previously been recorded by the pretenders. it's not on any of coldplay's albums, and the story I uncovered is that they recorded it, then made it available as a free download on their website.
I love this song.
I even like it done by the pretenders, but I prefer coldplay's version ~ mainly because of chris martin's voice, I'm sure. and the piano.
it could be classified as a Christmas song, because the words do mention Christmas time, but it's truly just a song about someone missing someone. the pretender's video has snow in the background, and all in all, I guess I think of it as a winter song.

it's winter now.

but I also had (yes, past tense) a milestone to reach. and today was looking to be warmer and drier than any of the next ten days heading our way, so I decided to get my butt on the saddle and conquer those remaining miles.
thus, in 34 degree weather under partially sunny skies, I indulged in my own cold-play.

and it was great.

I miss that bike saddle. I loved the pull of my cleats on the pedals, the flex of my hamstring muscles and the tightening of my quads. rises fell away under my wheels, and each hill was just a pale and lessened memory of my canyon climbs. I remembered what it felt like to ride a real bike out in the real world. an exclusive and limited club had members out and about today: Cyclists Who Will Ride in 35 Degree Weather.
it was wonderful.

and then it was wonderful to be home two hours later, to snuggle my toes into the warm carpet and ground myself with the heated tile floor. to stretch and flex my fingers and let them come to be warm again. to curl on the couch and knit, and look outside and relive the experience.

and to know that I hit a significant milestone this calender year, a pretenders song times three. I may never do that again ~ I don't feel the need to force it to happen ~ but I am pleased and grateful to have been able to do it.
and darn pleased and intensely grateful for an exhilarating, terrific, gratifying ride today on my good friend and staunch companion, ruby.

getting chicked

this morning the gal next to me in power camp said, I get all my pop culture from this class.
which holds true for yours truly, as well.
trivia, gossip, tidbits of what's going on "out there" . . . power camp brings to me an awareness of the Great Big World that I often don't pay much attention to.

for example, let me tell you about some of my experiences in the past few days.

• I listened to just a sampling of the tiger woods jokes spinning all around the country, as he has been outed as the kind of guy we all dread being in relationship with, and he was just voted Athlete of the Decade. wow. just wow.
• the lyrics of two songs actually stunned me into near-speechlessness this week. I had no idea these songs were out there, as I suppose I listen to "clean" radio. and because you're dying to know, they would be The Real Slim Shady, and Californication. uh-huh. this morning listening to Eminem I was either blushing, or just suffering from over-exertion. your guess.
• I learned that the Tour de France began in 1903, and that the first documented case of cheating occurred in 1904.
• I learned that not only is there a school that requires its students to take a course in unicycling, but that the tallest unicycle is 10 stories high. is there a point to wearing a helmet when you ride that thing?
• and the best thing of all this week, I learned a new phrase, thanks to a story about Ironman competitions and Chrissie Wellington.

this last item needs its own paragraph here.
one of our instructors is a triathlete who was telling us Ironman stories the other day. Ironman competitions are for those people who (I am going to be kind) find enjoyment in completing grueling workouts that combine swimming, biking, and running in outrageous lengths. those would be 2.4 mile swims, 112 mile bike rides, and 26.2 mile runs. back to back, with "transitions" between the events that leave them biking sockless and running until blisters form and toenails fall off. gee, I can't believe I haven't signed up for one of these yet.
this instructor was telling us about Chrissie Wellington, the reigning Ironman champion. apparently she is so fast that she often passes professional male athletes. and apparently, these guys have coined a phrase for being passed by a female: getting chicked.
as in, Chrissie passed me: I just got chicked.
I love this.
and this I also love: chicking guys.
I know, I should be above it all, but I just get some really childish, snarky sense of satisfaction from passing men out there on my bike.
I don't get to do it all that often, and I don't count the guys who are obviously overweight, out of shape, or over 75 . . .
I don't gloat, I don't act superior, but deep down inside that little 5-year-old me is just pleased as punch to be chicking a guy.
up til now I haven't had an appropriate name for this event, so I am exceedingly grateful to my power camp class, which teaches me all sorts of wonderful things about this incredible world we live in.
but californication? geez.